Top tips for separating families


The law, as a set of rules, is often regarded as detached and rigid so how does that fit with the family and all of the emotions which flow from a family breakdown?

These tips will hopefully help in breaching that void and assisting you to embark on the process in a constructive way.

  1. Choose the right lawyer

A good family lawyer will be alive to the fact that your family is unique and will approach your case with no pre-conceptions as to what you want to achieve.

One size does not fit all – your lawyer will listen to you and guide you through the best options for you and the family.

Trust is a very important aspect in this relationship and make sure that you have confidence in your chosen lawyer.

  1. Listen to your lawyer

You engage us to provide you with professional, tailored and direct advice.  Some of the things you hear may be very difficult to process and accept as you may have had a different plan.

Remember a good family lawyer has your best interests in mind at every stage of the advice and case and will try to help you meet your objectives.

  1. Mental Health

Regardless of what has taken place during the relationship or after, try to remember that both of you may be struggling.  It is likely that you will each feel various strong emotions at different times and you may benefit from some external individual help, such as a counsellor to support you through the process.

  1. Put your children first

Whilst children are resilient they are also very perceptive and can pick up on the slightest negative quip or comment.

Both parents should focus on shielding their children from any conflict and putting their needs before their own.

  1. Remain open-minded

The process is designed to be fair to both parties and you will receive advice about how a Judge would view your case.  In a family situation, there are no winners and losers – it is about making the best of the breakdown so that you can move forward in a positive fashion.

  1. Talk about it

Whilst your situation will be as unique as your family, it is likely that someone you know has been through something similar.

Research shows that venting or getting things off your chest, can help to reduce the flight or fight response and allow for a more logical thought process.

  1. Be patient

A straightforward divorce or dissolution in 2019 was taking around 66 weeks to conclude. Much of this was due to Court administrative backlogs which should be eased by the introduction of online divorce.

However, especially if there are finances or children involved, your case will not be resolved overnight, so try and be patient.

  1. Try ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution)

There are various methods in which you can resolve your family matters. Your lawyer will discuss these options with you to help you consider which route may suit your family.

They include the more traditional negotiation between solicitors, mediation, collaborative practice, court proceedings, private settlement conferences and arbitration. Please listen to our podcast on this issue for more information.


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